Reflections from Topeka
26th April, 2010 - Posted by nwilsonadmin - 4 Comments
Reflections on the Nate Phelps Topeka Debut
Rev. Nancy Wilson
I found that I have had a lot of reactions to the event with Nate Phelps in Topeka, yesterday. I am grateful to MCC Topeka for inviting me to participate in this event. I just felt that I wasn’t quite finished, and wanted to expand my remarks from earlier this weekend.
Almost 700 people filled much of the ground floor of the Topeka Performing Arts Center on Saturday. There was a lot of security, though, we had no problems whatsoever. Fred Phelps and his family didn’t show up at all, and the crowd was very supportive. There were TV cameras, and reporters there. AP did not show up, I understand because they refuse to cover anything about the Phelps, which, in this case, was a shame.
In the crowd were MCCers from Topeka, Wichita, Kansas City and Tulsa; lgbt activists; people from other faith groups, mostly Christians and Jews; quite a showing from a couple of atheist groups, and ordinary folks from Topeka, just curious.
When I introduced Nate, they gave him a standing ovation before he said a word. And, then he spoke, slowly, deliberately for almost an hour. He is a big bear of a guy, but gentle, and, really, humble and even. He was so non-violent in his speech, story-telling and analysis of one of the most violent stories I have ever heard.
The hour with him was riveting. You could hear a pin drop most of the time, some sniffles here and there, and gasps as few times, as he described some of the cruelty imposed by his famous father.
In some ways, in that hour, we descended into hell with Nate Phelps, and saw his childhood through a child’s eyes. He took on the Calvinist origins of his father’s theology, and really took on extreme fundamentalism. He spoke very poignantly of trying, as an adult, to attend church, and bring his children up in a more moderate church, but it sounded to me as if church of any kind is a trigger for him that is not very bearable.
His legitimate questioning of Bible verses and theologies has lead him to be an atheist. However, he was very moderate, and humble in this too. He stood up for religion that contributed to the common good, and that taught love and compassion. When I spoke with him personally, he commented on my remarks, saying, if all religion could be like this, it wouldn’t be a bad thing.
When he took questions and answers, a more militant atheist asked him, “My religious friends say about religion, ‘Don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater.’ Is there a baby?” Phelps thought for a minute, and, to the disappointment of the questioner, said, yes, he thought there was a baby, but wasn’t sure he could say what it was. He was gentle, and kind, kinder than he needed to be, about those of us to claim faith. Even though he is personally an atheist, he clearly wants to build bridges with a broad range of people, who have common cause.
He was very clear about his solidarity with the lgbt community, and talked movingly of wanting to make his first event in partnership with MCC and the lgbt community, because we had been the most injured, for the longest, by his father’s bizarre cult of one family.
At the end of his talk, he told the story of leaving home at 18, at the stroke of midnight. The story of his liberation at that moment, from a lifetime of beatings, unending verbal and psychological abuse, was moving beyond words. If his whole book is written that well, I can’t wait to read it.
He talked a lot about healing and hope, about recovery from abuse, and the lifelong struggle that he has had. When people asked questions, for nearly an hour, he was patient, and expressed kindness towards other members of his family, who are still imprisoned in the Phelps “compound,” just blocks away from the MCC Church. The poignancy of the questions, and the civility of the crowd was a beautiful thing to behold. I was so proud of him, of MCC.
This is a person with a mission. He brought up the fact that 39 states in the US still have laws that insulate religious groups from prosecution when they abuse children for religious reasons, or do not allow them to get proper medical treatment. It is astonishing that 13 children grew up in the Phelps home, enduring that level of violence, and no one has been able to do anything about it. After some early attempts, I guess, fear of reprisals, lawsuits (for which they are famous) have deterred anyone from intervening.
The whole community of Topeka lives in a kind of state of mild PTSD when it come to the Phelps. It is a small town, you can’t totally avoid them. They mar the image of this decent community. People talk of their embarrassment when people around the world only know Topeka for one thing – “God hates fags,” or “God hates America,” or, now it seems, “God hates the world.”
That is their new slogan on their website, “God Hates the World.” It is the evil reversal of John 3:16, the gospel in miniature that proclaims a God who “so loved the world.”
Nate Phelps, by miracles he claims not to understand, resisted his father’s indoctrination, and eventually planned his own escape. Over the years, he has done the personal work of healing, and managed have loving relationships, and a sense of self and purpose. I feel privileged to have met him, and heard him in Topeka.
Posted on: April 26, 2010
Filed under: News, Reflections
4 Comments
Candace R. Shultis
April 26th, 2010 at 12:48 pm
Nancy…we don’t thank you enough for all you do! so…THANK YOU!!!
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Angela
April 27th, 2010 at 1:17 pm
Thank you Nancy for so eloquently summarizing that afternoon with Nate and the message he wished to get across. Your words here brought me to tears as I realized that someone out there really heard what he was trying to say, and I felt vindicated for him and his efforts..
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Rev Janice Levering
April 27th, 2010 at 7:22 pm
Dear Rev Wilson, Thank you for your ongoing reflections on this event, for moderating it on Saturday, and for helping to set the tone of grace and appreciation for Nate Phelps’ courage and character. In spite of some lingering effects of PTSD, he seems to have an innate (I would say “God-given”) resiliancy, and a reflective spirit that may prove to be a great gift to society. Yes – we have been impacted already by his care and compassion. Thank you, Nate; and thank you, Nancy.
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David Moore
April 27th, 2010 at 8:51 pm
Thanks for hosting this meeting and posting your comments for the rest of us who could not attend. I have lived in KS all my life (71 yrs) and, of course, was well aware of Freddy and his gang. I also have a cousin who lives in Topeka. I had not heard of Nate before. Would love to have the chance in the future. You mentioned a book – what is the name of it and when coming out? Thanks again.
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